Removing barriers to musical freedom...with nail polish remover!

I'm on an unending quest to uncover freedom and ease of movement when I play. How do we find the physical and mental freedom to uncover and enjoy musical freedom? This post will recap the latest discovery that I experienced.

I had a COA completed on my flute recently and while the work done was fabulous, the technician took my nail polish off! I had a strip of polish on the barrel and on my headjoint so that I could easily assemble the flute and know that the headjoint was in the correct position. The nail polish was a prop that once removed, moved me along in my discovery process. Initially, I wasn't so happy about this.

Although I know where the headjoint "feels" good and had marked it with the nail polish, I had to experiment a lot with rolling in and out to find the best place for a sound I liked. As I did this, I had good tone days and bad ones. I also noticed some stiffness and tightening in my neck muscles as I experimented but the reason for this wasn't completely clear. I stopped playing each time I noticed my neck stiffening up.

On one particularly good day, I looked in my mirror as I played and noticed that my keys had rolled back and I hadn't even noticed. What element dominated my awareness so much that I wasn't aware of my hands rolling the flute in?

In a recent Body Mapping lesson with Lea Pearson, she noticed that I appeared to be lacking freedom at my A-O joint when I played. For perhaps the first time ever (now that I was aware of it!), I experienced a free A-O joint during that lesson. What I didn't think about at the time was the connection of embouchure to hand position, the source of my latest discovery.

From wikipedia.org

Flutists, like singers, become mesmerized by their sound and a good sound day is fantastic and a bad sound day can make you feel like the world should end. Locking in to the sound and setting to hang on to that sound can create physical changes in the body like muscle tension. It can also diminish our inclusive awareness.

Music is sound, but when we lose awareness of the elements that create the sound, we run into trouble. Our sound is connected to our embouchure which is connected to our hand position. Our entire bodies are connected to the sound. Resonating chambers inside the body (chest, mouth, nasal passages, sinus cavities, etc.) impact a flute's sound just like a singer.

What I experienced in the practice room is locking up even in just one part of the body can impact your sound and cause automatic adjustments to occur (such as rolling the keys in). If we bring the flute to our lips with awareness of the A-O joint and we immediately settle and lock into the sound, we're restricting access to that place of balance and impeding whole body balance.

While the headjoint position felt correct, I was not able to maintain the comfortable angle to produce a good sound across the low, middle and high registers. My hands then became involved in the correction process. Losing freedom at the A-O joint created tension which I was able to feel. My discovery reminded me of how losing awareness of the A-O joint made finding a good sound more difficult. This led to the adjusting which I noticed only when I looked in the mirror.

I am on a mission to find freedom at my A-O joint (and always putting discoveries within the context of the whole). I am reading and researching to find the freedom necessary to connect a free and flexible embouchure to a balanced hand position that supports the flute but also allows me technical facility. Consistent practice is the first step in this process, which I'll write about next.

When you find a good sound, trust it (don't be afraid!). Let awareness of your A-O joint enter into your inclusive attention and let it rest there as part of your sound awareness. Remember that the A-O joint is a place of balance in the body. If we lose awareness or we lock ourselves into a "proper playing position" to keep a good sound, we will go out of balance in other places of the body.

The hands and mouth are two parts of the body flutists may take for granted and link to good sound production, but what would happen if you included them in the whole? Effective practice sessions can help us keep removing the barriers to musical freedom.

Become more present by acknowledging the uncomfortable

Avoiding pain, embarrassment, humiliation. We all do our best to avoid uncomfortable emotions. When we're angry or hurt, we try really hard to get back to a more peaceful state. What would happen if we chose to remain with the painful feelings and acknowledge their presence? What would happen if we realized that we have a say in the matter and that we have an array of possibilities to choose from, rather than the ones that emotion may dictate for us?

Life, with all its twists and turns, can not stay in homeostasis like our biological systems. Life instead seems to have more bad moments than good. Personally, 2012 wasn't a particularly good year but I learned a lot of lessons that I will strive not to forget when the times are good.

What does this have to do with music? The image of the suffering and starving artist is a widespread one in our western culture. We become artists not to make money but to create and move people towards change. Some of the most powerful music has been born from misery.

If you would like to become more present or mindful, accepting rather than fighting what is happening at any given time is a critical skill to develop. The hardest lesson for me in all this has been accepting that while my emotions are real, they do not define me. You can accept difficult situations for what they are, but you can simply notice the emotions they produce. They do not have to control you. Biologically, we feel emotions but research tells us that they take about 90 seconds to pass through the body (if we choose to let them go).

Acknowledge and accept. There are so many ways we can apply this to practice and performance of music.

Here's a way to start in the practice room: when you're having a bad day, it's incredibly difficult to not judge yourself. Any element that isn't going well becomes the focal point of your attention and you gradually pull yourself more and more away from the music itself.

When you notice frustration creeping in, stop and take a moment to notice that frustration and accept it. This doesn't mean that you have to stay with the frustration but instead, you can make a choice about what it is you want to do next. If you choose to stay frustrated, you will choose to remain focused on the element that isn't flowing (such as your tone). Another choice you can make is to step away from the instrument and go do something else for a little while.

Finally, a third choice could be to focus on the wider picture and find something positive in your playing. I can guarantee that you're not going to feel comfortable or even happy about having to play in a frustrated state, but if you choose to not let the frustration control your choices, the negative judgmental voices will dissipate. You may even be able to end the practice session in a productive groove.

Life is all about how we choose to respond to curveballs. Practicing is all about how we choose to respond to our expectations. If we let our emotions control us, choices get made for us. Conscious, mindful decision making can keep us in the game.

Unpacking Musical Memories to Ring in 2013

I rang in 2013 in a new house surrounded by boxes. I consider this to be one of the ultimate ways to ring in the new year: a fresh start in a new location and in an idealist way, it actually had the potential to be pretty empowering. In reality, the first week of 2013 put me in a funk because instead of thinking about projects (and starting) that I would like to accomplish this year, I had to acknowledge that the week was all about unpacking and settling in.

There's still unpacking left to do, but this is the week to begin piecing together what will make 2013  a successful year. While I unpack, I'm reminded of myself and nothing fired up the spark more than unpacking and organizing my music library.

As I sorted through all the music, I thought about why I owned the piece, if I've learned it (or asking why I haven't learned it yet) and finally thinking about the times I've performed each piece.

I put away my copy of the Reinecke Sonata and I smile at the memory of performing it with Erica Sipes in 2012. For the first time in a long time (and perhaps ever), I collaborated with a pianist who truly and happily supports the musicians she plays with.

On stage, I felt that I could do anything and Erica would respond to me. I felt safe and cocooned and the Reinecke is the perfect memory of 2012 and future performances with Erica.

I was first exposed to the Telemann Fantasias in high school when I learned the second one. I returned to them in college and I have regularly returned to them ever since. I love them for their complexity and the way Telemann transformed the flute into a harmonic instrument with harmonic and melodic material written on a single line.

Perhaps the most amusing memory is performing No. 2 during a church service back home in SW Virginia, and people not quite knowing what to make of it since it wasn't an overtly sacred choice. I think it was the closest I've ever come to hearing crickets chirp after I finished playing.

Finally, the copy of Robert Beaser's Mountain Songs for flute and guitar. I programed several of the movements on my senior recital to honor the memory of my grandfathers who both died in 2006. I appreciate the guitarist that came to my aid to learn the difficult part in a short amount of time and allowed me to keep the piece on my program.

Mountain Songs blends Appalachian folk songs and sets them within the classical tradition, blending my two sound worlds together that meshes my identity with that of my grandfathers'.

Just looking at the music brings forth these memories, and I can keep making more memories with the music in my library. Every move is attached to a specific memory and unpacking my music library will stick with me for this move.

Is fear holding you back?

As musicians, overcoming our fears is one of our biggest challenges. Allowing ourselves to become vulnerable vehicles for the music we wish to share is a momentous task, immediately peeling away the layers to expose our truest selves to an audience full of people we may have never met.

After the performance, however, no matter how fearful you were prior to or during it, it's a time of intense exhilaration. You can't wait for the next opportunity to perform. How can we cultivate that fearless feeling in the performance itself and live life as it's meant to be lived?

A few weeks ago, I began reading Madeline Bruser's The Art of Practicing for a second time. This time, I've been able to get through the book much more quickly and it's been a surprise to find that I've absorbed so much of the information in the book and am applying it to my music making. It's such an excellent resource to have, and obviously worth re-reading every now and then.

Near the end of the book, in Chapter 14, Bruser speaks about transforming fear into fearlessness. In the section, she discusses how fear may keep us from discovering a new way of identifying ourselves. 

I took this away - each time I experience self doubt, I am fearful. I'm experiencing fear in the times that I don't feel capable of performing to my fullest potential. Instead of waiting for a "big break" to come, start transforming performances with fearlessness. Don't limit your performance to what fear dictates you can handle.

I know what it feels like to be fearless. My study of Body Mapping and the Alexander Technique has enabled me to slowly integrate a complete mind-body connection into my awareness as I practice and perform. In choosing to live my life with awareness, I am choosing to let go of the fears that can restrain me in performance.

Transforming fear into fearlessness is the first step to performing with freedom and true artistry. As your performances come to life, your confidence will blossom and your identity may shape into something more powerful than you ever thought possible. This will bring more opportunities your way.

We spend so much time seeking validation from external sources that we forget what is possible on our own. When you allow the validation to come from within, the chance of getting that "big break" will become more likely. As with anything in life, end gaining does nothing but cause despair when we get off track. Simply accepting what is and cultivating resiliency will benefit you in many more ways than endless start and stops.

You can transform fear into fearlessness by having the courage to share what is in your heart, enjoying the process and letting go of what you think you should be doing. Instead, live with passion, live with heart and most of all, live with the confidence that you are an artist in the present moment.

In the words of Bruser, "We can keep growing only if we face our fear and dare to step forward through it."

Less thinking, more doing

I've been quiet lately after having my most prolific year on The Sensible Flutist. One of my goals had been to have two new posts up a week but after a while, these began to feel contrived and forced. One of my favorite aspects of this blog is how I can write based on inspiration. If I don't want to write, I don't have to. Readers keep coming and I appreciate them greatly.

When I was in the throes of moving in the summertime, I was writing a lot on various life and musical lessons I was discovering in the process. I learned a lot about myself in those tumultuous months when my husband needed a job and we suddenly needed to find a new place to live. I felt I had something to share as I had to scramble to meet basic needs. Life wasn't comfortable.

Now that life is somewhat comfortable again, I'm trying to do a little more. I'm trying to better utilize the time I have available to make some other projects come to fruition. My output may be small, but I'm proud of it.

I have a project list tacked onto my corkboard that I look at daily. I purposely kept it simple. Life is a moving target and I know that I have to keep my number of projects small. This is easier said than done.

For the time being, I'm spending less time thinking about issues and more time putting my ideas into motion. Writing is an incredibly important tool for me, but I feel an innate need for concrete action.

Let's all do more, shall we?

Can sports and the arts work together?

One of my favorite sports to watch is football, so naturally I was pretty psyched to attend a football school. Because of this affinity, I was excited to see Arizona Cardinals' player Larry Fitzgerald conduct the Phoenix Symphony on September 20. USA Today published this story.

In the baseball world, The Major League Baseball Players Association has issued a statement supporting the currently locked out musicians of the Atlanta Symphony. This statement and Mr. Fitzgerald's appearance highlight the similarities between professionals in sports and the orchestral world. Given the popularity of professional sports, the arts world would be smart to cultivate these connections.

It isn't uncommon to hear lots of disparaging remarks from both sides. As a private teacher, I know how difficult and frustrating it is to work around demanding sports schedules. To be honest, marching band can wreak as much havoc.

foxsportsarizona.com

I tweeted the YouTube link immediately on twitter and I was surprised to note that this video has only picked up 310 views as of this writing. Why so few?

In the Phoenix Symphony clip, someone in attendance was wearing a Cardinals jersey. I loved it, and that is what inspired me to write this post. Perhaps it was a faithful concert goer who happens to be a Cards fan. Maybe not.

In my ideal world, I'd like to think that Mr. Fitzgerald got some people to show up that wouldn't have otherwise. I hope that the regular concert goers made these new audience members feel welcome.

I'd also like to note that no one else has really mentioned Fitzgerald's appearance or did I get any sort of response to my own tweet. I found out about this event because the announcers mentioned it (with video) during Sunday's Cardinals game.

Regardless of your preferences, one aspect of cultivating your audience is respecting what they want. The examples I've mentioned in this post relate directly to Gary Sandow's recent post of respecting the culture outside classical music, and the culture gap that exists. My take on this is don't minimize people because they enjoy football, pop music, or anything else you might deem "below" classical music.

I am thankful for those professional sports players that are helping bridge the gap to their fans, and helping those people access a world that can sometimes seem frightfully intimidating to outsiders.

Can sports and classical music coincide? What are your thoughts?

The Individuality of Change

Photo: Alex Barth

We're in the midst of some pretty big changes.

Multiple orchestras across the US are facing huge deficits and are putting the pressure on their musicians to make enormous sacrifices while hoping to preserve the artistic integrity of these organizations. It is not my intent to discuss or debate the current issues, but instead address how individual musicians may respond to these changes.

The future of classical music has been a breeding ground for infighting in the ranks. Gary Sandow's blog eloquently discusses these challenges and reading the comments to his blog posts have expanded my horizons since sometimes, the arguments are ones I haven't necessarily considered. It baffles me how some don't appear to believe that things are shifting, or they believe that we're merely in a chaotic part of the cycle and things will return to "normal" soon enough. I think the concept of normal is changing, and we're beginning to see shifts and artists who are no longer satisfied with what once was.

It's no secret that I've begun creating a new path for myself. I'm shunning the audition circuit and seeking creative freedom. I've never felt happier or more liberated. I'm now able to more easily deal with criticism. Rather than doing what everyone else is doing, I'm doing my own thing. Because I've done so much soul-searching and have arrived at a musical philosophy that works for me, I feel that I'm better able to look at these issues from a balanced mindset since I have no self-preserving interests in the matter. This is what works for me, and this is where the beauty of these changes lies. Musicians will be empowered to begin making individual choices about their careers, and I believe they will become more able to sustain careers while making a living.

Did I see the current lockouts coming? No. I'm not involved in the orchestral world; however, I am a trained musician. I'm aware of how music schools and conservatories place emphasis on orchestral training. When I think back to my college days, I think about all the time I spent working on excerpts. That training took precedence over the various chamber music experiences or solo performances. I trained to become an orchestral musician. I believed for many years that getting into an orchestra was the pinnacle of a serious music career (that, or making it as a soloist...the orchestral career seemed more likely).

Because I was so involved in this training, my ears were closed to pearls of wisdom that I may have received about doing things my own way. It's not like I wasn't interested in entrepreneurial ventures. I even researched taking some business classes, but I wasn't able to enroll in any due to various issues.

We had a "Business of Music" class that was offered for a few semesters but by the time my schedule allowed me to take the course, the person teaching it had moved on to a different school and no one replaced her since it was an elective. More and more schools are adding essential courses to their curriculum to expand students' skill sets, but the question still remains of, "What is academia emphasizing? Are students being encouraged to become free-thinking individuals with creative dreams or are they simply being trained in a system that better fits what used to be?"

I've instead spent my own time expanding my horizons. I knew what my options were and I faced reality. Every musician's circumstances are different; however, one thing remains the same. Every musician must take personal responsibility for their career. We're lucky, you know. We can and should be able to adapt as artists when something happens that knocks us off kilter.

The changes that are coming and that are currently happening will affect everyone individually. I am inclined to believe that funding will begin shifting to smaller groups and individuals. I believe that audiences want to be personally connected to artists and they want to know exactly where their money is going and for what project. Crowd funding successes through platforms like Kickstarter and GoFundMe confirm this. Audiences will have to be cultivated on an individual basis. No audience is the same.

Perhaps the orchestral audience is diminishing, but I don't believe the audience for the larger art form is diminishing. Be brave, be courageous and above all, find your audience. Be creative in your artistic endeavors, but also approach your art with an entrepreneurial mindset. If a concept or idea doesn't work, then try something else.

The shifting winds have the potential to either harm or help the parties involved. I want all the musicians to come through these storms unscathed, but I know that won't be the case.

I'm pretty excited about these changes. If you allow the changes to happen and forget what you thought you knew about classical music, then the future becomes a collective of individual change. Let's keep it going and support each other.

The energetic (and not so energetic) cycle of creativity

by Sean MacEntee

What drives you to create?

I think most of us artistic types find that our creativity is cyclical. Some days (or weeks), we feel "on" and nothing can stop us. At other times, we can only muster the bare minimum required. I think the first step to sustaining these bursts of creativity is to accept that we can't be on all the time. On top of struggling with self-doubt, I think a lot of us struggle with the low weeks when we're merely steeping. By acknowledging the cycle, we can adapt and manage the low points in more healthy ways.

Although my motivation hasn't been lagging this week, my energy certainly has. I'm not quite sure what the culprit is, but I suspect diet and sleep are two factors. Perhaps the stress of the move is finally releasing its hold on me and sucking the energy I have. Just thinking of practicing causes me to yawn profusely and feel about ten times more exhausted. By the time I feel awake enough to even pull my flute out, it's too late at night.

This is the type of cycle I can control. I can eat more cleanly, I can improve my pre-bed routine, I can begin taking supplements, I can sleep less (sleeping more is sometimes not the answer to energy loss). This is when I'm grateful for the mindfulness I've infused into my life through somatics. I can listen to my body and make appropriate changes. Instead of foundering and entering into a negative self-talk cycle, I can instead make mindful changes to see if any of them help my energy levels match my motivation and desire to create.

Accept and acknowledge, but don't surrender. Appreciate the cycle with mindful observation.

Looking inward to capture the joy in music making

The labyrinth at Ghost Ranch, a place for quiet reflection

I have taken up a meditation practice, and I had a delicious experience today. I use the quiet time as a chance to draw inward and be with God. If there's a particular thing that I'm struggling with such as anxiety, I'll form an intention to reflect on as I sit quietly. Just like my Super Efficient Practice Hour, this 20 minutes I devote to solitude leaves me better able to handle the day.

Most of my intentions lately have focused on qualities I feel are lacking when I react to my current situation with fear, anxiety and worry. I have a choice about how to deal with the stress, and I have chosen to deal with it as positively as possible. In my very human moments when I succumb to the negative emotions, I return to how I felt during my meditation and I begin breathing more deeply and the negativity releases its grip on me.

My intention today was "presence." The current situation is teaching my husband and me how to live in the moment. I know that I can only do one thing at a time. Instead of becoming overwhelmed with my endless to do list, I would rather stay focused on the present and give myself manageable tasks that feel like progress is being made.

As I sat, I suddenly realized that this was my time and I should relish it. This realization washed over me and drew me deeper into myself in a way I hadn't experienced before. I don't think I've ever thought about the time I've taken for myself in quite that way. I became involved in the present - I wasn't just trying to be present.

When practicing becomes a chore, we can return to a place and motivate ourselves by giving ourselves a gift of time. That gift allows us to not only refine and improve our technical skill on the instrument, but it makes us better people. The more present we are in our performance, the greater our awareness and it enhances our joy. We enter into a real time conversation with the audience that can't exist if we're worrying about what we just played or the difficult part ahead. This is the essence of inclusive awareness.

I'm starting to realize that this difficult situation I'm in has helped me appreciate this time as an opportunity to begin injecting more humanity into my music. I subscribe to Astrid Baumgardner's newsletter, and she included a fantastic article about ways to manage challenges in her April issue. As I searched for an old email this morning in my inbox, the newsletter appeared in my search results. It was perfectly timed. If you're dealing with a difficult time, personally or professionally, I encourage you to read it and use the action steps to make a plan. Her action steps encourage presence by focusing on the immediate, which helps you to clearly articulate the next step.

The lesson here is no matter external circumstances, free the music within by drawing inward and finding the joy that exists in each moment of your life. What's your story?

Enriching your artistry through life experience

Image by Dan Brady

In May, I wrote several blog posts that included my Manifesto, and several more articles about income streams and making your own way as a musician. One idea I wanted to write about never quite made it to the table, so here I am writing about it now. Life experience. I touched briefly on this in this week's earlier post, which got me thinking about it a little more.

When I describe my situation to others, it's humbling to see the scores of others in the position that my husband and I are in. The economy has brought change to lots of people. Some of the change has been positive and at other times negative. My own work has been shaped by a desire to become portable in order to weather the changes that life has brought me at pretty regular intervals of every 2-3 years.

I firmly believe in the new economy, and I believe in the power of individuals to make their own way. With that said, life experience can be a boon to artistic development. If our lives were simple, what depth would our lives have? What depth would our music have? On one hand, I crave simplicity but I know that the painful and uncomfortable times will lead to a greater discovery of who I am and what I'm capable of handling. One could say that I'm in the worst position I've ever been in; however, I also trust that God will never give me more than I can handle.

I'm accepting these changes in the hope that my life will help me develop a deeper appreciation for the music that I'm so passionate about. I am full of gratitude for the music I am able to share with others, gratitude for those who support me and gratitude for even these uncomfortable changes I'm faced with right now. I'm realizing that accepting the painful times enhances artistry in a way that enables the musician to explore the full range of emotions in the music they perform. Love, pain, loss, joy and sorrow. In fact, I have the opportunity to study the human condition from a first hand position.

As I accept my momentary "uncomfortableness," I'm noticing these emotions and what they do. Not only am I opening myself up to possibility, but I am letting my life guide me in my artistic endeavors. Just like the discoveries one makes when studying Body Mapping and realizing that all your "problems" are connected, my life is connected to music. Art is absolutely connected to our lives.

When you enrich your artistry through life experience, you are allowing that experience to connect you personally to your performance. That is one more layer of awareness through which to communicate exactly what you want to your audience. There is music inside every one of us. Allow your life to help transmit it to the world.

The $100 Startup - My Thoughts

100startup.com

I just finished reading Chris Guillebeau's The $100 Startup. Full of real examples and even one related to us musicians (Music Teachers' Helper), I'm inspired and motivated to keep working on my own microbusiness.

Thanks to this book, I've realized a lot of my inaction is due to fear and perfectionism. One of my project interests at the moment is creating products to sell online, but what do I sell as a musician? I'm exploring this by looking at various options, but I want them to all relate to who I am and what I'm doing at any given time. This book has inspired me to jump in, and I'm writing my first ebook and giving myself only 7 days to do it.

At this transitional point in my life, I have the freedom and ability to just go for it. Like I said in my post last week, resources like this book and Lea Woodward have come into my life at just the right time for me to start working positive changes into my life and my business.

The $100 Startup also helped me realize that if I say I'm running a business, then I have to focus my actions based on making money. Focusing my time on 50 percent creation and 50 percent connecting is a relevant formula to take as a musician and begin tweaking your business. Whether you want to bring in more students, begin utilizing a secondary skill to draw more business or you want to introduce an array of products on your site, focusing your time is essential and can be tricky especially if practicing your instrument doesn't do a lot for income generation at the moment.

I highly recommend this book. It's an easy read. You can either read through it, or you can work through the book chapter by chapter. The accompanying website, 100startup.com, is a great free resource with downloadable PDFs to help you launch a product, a business, or you need marketing help. Everything is broken down into plain English and easily actionable steps.

The beauty of microbusiness is that it's often just one person. You can accomplish much by getting rid of the organizational red tape, and working for yourself. It's a powerful motivator. If you're looking for something to inspire and move you forward, read this book.

When is enough enough?

Graduation Day

I've spent the past three years finding my way. In the five years since college, I spent the first two years as a burned out musician in a full time day job, and the following three as an evolving musical masterpiece. When I started this blog in 2010, I had resumed serious playing and teaching to facilitate a return to school for a master's degree in flute. Boy, have things changed.

I'm still hopelessly addicted to music. I have really made strides in successfully overcoming the psychological and physiological effects of performance anxiety which reared its ugly head as a result of my hiatus. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together more fully for me and in a way that has been making me incredibly happy. I don't want to be known as just a flutist. My life has always indicated otherwise. It was when I stopped pushing forward in what I thought I should be doing was when I realized what I was meant to be doing.

Through this evolution and my incessant curiosity, I find myself questioning academia more and more. I admire and respect all my colleagues who have struck out on their own with only a bachelor's degree in music. While opportunities to perform and teach are limited with just this level of education, the real world experience gained is instrumental in shaping future life decisions. If you choose to stay in school and further your education to include graduate and post-graduate work, you could essentially be living in cloistered academic conditions for a period of upwards of 25 years before you even enter what I consider to be the real world.

When I think about these numbers, I cringe. How many talented musicians stay in school simply because it's what they're told they should be doing? If I had stayed in school to obtain my master's degree, I would have continued on my idealistic, naive path of dreaming of nothing more than playing the flute full time. This would have changed my path dramatically. Chances are I'd have wound up working a miserable day job anyway. The promise of returning to school was what ultimately drew me out of my burned out funk. What if I had already obtained that and then entered the workforce like a dejected nobody?

Perhaps it's the transitional times we live in where I'm growing increasingly distrustful of all large organizations whether it's a corporation or government bureaucracy. Academia is no different. I don't think academic institutions have students' interests at heart. There's too many other competing factors (hello, money!), and this is a reality that many don't think about. I am speaking from a purely institutional perspective. On an individual level, I know many professors who are aware of the realities of the outside world and are honest with their students. We need more faculty members like that.

I wouldn't give up these past 5 years of my life for anything. I've never done things the normal way. While I may have resented it at the time, I'm grateful for it now. When do the hordes of talented musicians making their way through loads of degrees say "enough is enough!" and find the courage to strike out on their own? I want my life to be an example to those who may be questioning their path. Anything is possible.

We are creatives. We have the ability to be free thinkers. If years of schooling is what you feel you need, then that's OK but think about the life waiting for you beyond the academic confines. What possibilities exist for you as you are? The beauty of life is our freedom to choose, even if it's the path less traveled.

Making a path

I'm in yet another transitional period in my life personally and professionally. I'm working on a great project that I'm very excited about. I'm not in a position at the time to hold a day job due to personal transition with my husband's job, so I'm using the time to my advantage to not only help him locate a job but to flesh out ideas and work on them as much as possible to bring them to fruition.

First off, if you haven't read my manifesto, please do so. This will give you the framework needed for this and subsequent posts.

everystockphoto.com

Recently, two great resources came into my life. The first has been Lea Woodward's eCourse, Pathfinding for Idea Pioneers which she is generously offering for free on her site and which I previously mentioned here. Incidentally, she's also running a competition this week for her Pioneers Collective site which would give me greater access to resources and as Lea calls it, "on tap business advice" for the DIY person like myself.

The second resource has been Chris Guillebeau's latest book, The $100 Startup. I discovered the book the day it was released and I was lucky enough to be the first person to check it out of my local library. I'm only into Chapter 2, but it complements Lea's course well and has reinforced my evolving ideas about my project. Ultimately, these two resources have been well timed for my personal and professional transition.

So what is this idea I keep talking about? It isn't ready for release yet, but clarinetist Marion Harrington and I have partnered up and we're working on a new business geared towards musicians like us. This is the idea that we are fleshing out as work through Lea's eCourse together, and we both started it at the same time. Via weekly Skype sessions, we're sharing the work we've done on each task and we're taking the best points from our independent responses.

What Lea's course has done for me personally has been amazing. It's focused the foundational, groundwork process in a way that I don't feel overwhelmed. I can work on the task and feel accomplished and one step closer to launching this project. Since I began this course 3 weeks ago, Marion and I have made headway on our idea that may have otherwise taken months.

Lea has figured out so well how to make her services personal and valuable to potential customers and clients. Right now, I'm realizing how we have to be spot on with how any idea will ultimately impact people regardless of your goal. If your goal is to generate income, then this becomes more important as you'll need to tap into your customer base. As musicians, I think we sometimes lose sight of this. It's so easy to work on the things we want to do that I think we forget that we must actually work and connect with people in such a way that they want to pay you for your work. Figuring this out for yourself is very, very important and will go a long way towards building long term value across the music industry.

This is the start of my path. It aligns well with my manifesto, and I'm walking the walk now that I've so publicly talked the talk. I'm beginning to find the freedom I've always dreamed of. I'm only starting, but I'm excited what the future holds.

How many hats do you wear?

photo moolanomy.com

Ask a classical musician what they do for a living and be prepared for a less than straight forward answer. We do a lot. Most of us perform, teach, compose, write and do many other things that all fall under the freelance title. The challenge of succinctly describing to laypersons what I do is ever present, and most time I simply reply that I play the flute.

I have many income streams that I'm in the process of developing. Currently, I teach, perform and write. I'm also working on capitalizing on my day job experience to create new work. My goal as a musician is to be portable and flexible; however, like any small business, income streams take time to develop into money making ventures. The key is to not give up.

What unique skill sets and interests do you have? Does being a musician completely define you or do have a broader scope of experience that you can draw on? I worked a full time day job outside of music for nearly three years. I treat that work experience as my business management education since my job consisted of accounting, human resources and operations components. Aside from that, my other day jobs have been primarily clerical in nature so I draw on my organizational and administrative skills there to handle day to day stuff and not get overwhelmed. Although I'm now beginning school to obtain my physical therapy degree, these skills will serve me well.

Don't be afraid of the additional experience a day job can give you. If you feel you need more business experience, try to find a administrative position. The hours may not be as flexible, but you're gaining experience, honing your skills and earning a paycheck in the process.

Another question to ask yourself as you begin to develop income streams is how many can you handle? For instance, if you're interested in self-producing concerts, the amount of work involved in handling all the details from securing a space, negotiating fees, hiring additional musicians and promoting the event to get an audience is a huge undertaking. I didn't even mention the hours of practice needed to prepare a program!

Instead of thinking about each separate hat you have to wear under the auspice of generating income via performance, think about the project in its entirety then break down the steps into manageable bits from there. You'll otherwise risk burnout and becoming overwhelmed with all the little bits of work that need to be done.

Become a self-sufficient musician means that you have to develop business skills. Choose income streams that reflect your interests and match your values. You'll be more likely to stick with it especially when the monetary payoff isn't immediate.

We're artists, but we're also forced into the tricky world of business in order to cobble together a living for ourselves. My next set of posts will attempt to give you some perspective on how to overcome these challenges and keep moving ahead even when it seems that you're stalled.

Perspective: Abundance or Scarcity?

In my last post, I mentioned that I've been reading Rosamund and Ben Zander's book, The Art of Possibility. One of the first things discussed is the lens that people choose to view the world through.

Viewing life through a lens of scarcity means that nothing is ever good enough. There isn't enough work, too many musicians, your background isn't good enough, etc. This limits the viewer in an incredibly narrow way.

Open yourself up to abundance and (Zander is absolutely right on this) possibility begins to pour in.

I feel like I can be the poster child for scarcity since my life story began through what should be a lens of scarcity. I was born and raised in Southwest VA, culturally rich but not in classical music. Although I had a caring band director for the first three years as a flute student, I didn't necessarily have the opportunities that kids have living in urbanized areas...or did I?

Through this lens of scarcity, I began looking for opportunities. I began traveling 50 minutes one way every week to begin private lessons. I auditioned for the Kingsport Youth Orchestra, didn't get in, but kept trying anyway until I did. I entered local competitions. I went to music camps in the summer. I dreamed about Curtis, Julliard and Eastman. I began exploring the online message boards to learn as much as I could about playing the flute.

Regardless of my background, even though I had a whole realm of scarcity grounded in reality to contend with, I never stopped dreaming or trying.

When you view things through the lens of scarcity, your past hangs over you like a dark cloud. You never can seem to move past all the things that you blame for your lack of success. Self-doubt builds and your professional life continues to suffer.

If I chose to live my life in the realm of scarcity, I would not be doing the things I'm doing today. I wouldn't have the courage or confidence to step out. I only have a Bachelor's degree and it's not even from a major music school! What am I thinking?!

I could give you 50 more reasons why I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I operated this way.

The quote, "Life opens up with you do" could never be more true. Making a living in music gives you the freedom to take risks, explore life and learn things that a desk job will never teach you. We can return to our instrument every day and come away with a new awareness even if it is only just one tiny thing. That beats the daily routine where you're just counting your working hours down until you can go home.

Articulating the differences of the scarcity vs. abundance perspectives are key to letting go of those elements that hold you back. Life isn't fair, but we can make it more fair when we choose to live an abundant life full of possibility.

If there was an ever more important lesson I could teach to my 16 year old self, it would be this.

Recapturing the joy in music making

I don't have children of my own but I get to work with children closely as a private flute teacher. I've also taught larger groups of children from ages 5-12.

I love children's natural curiosity and since I'm still a big curious kid myself always asking questions, it bothers me that children nowadays have a tendency to shy away from asking questions. Society in general has shifted from valuing critical thinking to valuing conformity and accepting the filtered information that is fed to us.

My goal as a private teacher is to develop a child's interest in music and help them towards musical independence so that they can nurture and enjoy listening and playing music as a lifelong activity. I don't tell my students everything. I ask them pointed questions until they figure out the answer on their own. It may take longer this way, but I want them to think for themselves. When they arrive at the answer, it's a memorable occasion and the information will more likely stick. They can find joy in learning a new piece of information or a new way to approach and practice a piece. I feel this is my contribution to the world in general if I can encourage my students to think and ask questions.

As adults, we may have trouble retaining the joy in music. Competition, lack of motivation, life in general and other factors slowly degrade our passion from joyous to toiling. How can we prevent this?

I've been reading Rosamund and Benjamin Zander's book "The Art of Possibility: Transforming Personal and Professional Life." Every time I read a chapter, I either find myself excited and my motivation returning or I'm moved to tears by the pure emotional clarity. Adults make things complicated. This book encourages us to remove the blinders of judgment and assumption and just be.

I think the most effective thing we can do to recapture joy in our music making is to find presence in our day to day lives. That presence will transfer to our performances, and we will be happier and more fulfilled. Presence helps us rise above the detail of a piece and helps us find context or the longer line in life. I really didn't understand this concept until I began practicing yoga. Rather than trying to run away from the discomfort of a more challenging yoga pose, I chose to stay with it. Presence is a discipline that can reap many rewards.

Life in general stinks, but we have the possibility to change that today and every day forward. As a musician, I'm incredibly lucky to be able to come to my instrument daily and remind myself of all the good things about life. When you find yourself drifting today, notice what you smell or what you hear. Bring yourself back to the present moment and be grateful. This is the essence of joy.

Part One:"...but I practiced!" A practice strategy for learning a new piece

I have a student (we’ll call them “B”) who has dysgraphia, a learning disability. We have been working together for a year and it has been a very fascinating journey. B’s background is in special education, so I have benefitted from their expertise as I rise to the challenge in order to grow as a teacher and find new ways to teach music to those that process information differently.

Most private music teachers have a few strategies for helping dyslexic students since that "LD" is more common; however, unless the parent and student are up front, it can be difficult to realize you cannot teach in your usual manner with students who seem "lazy" or "don't try hard enough." Unfortunately, sometimes it isn't until the student gives up out of frustration and you feel like you’ve failed as a teacher that we realize missed opportunities. Since private music teachers are in no way trained or ethically able to diagnose a student, we must be patient, armed and ready with a variety of strategies and solutions for each problem that arises in order to customize a student's instruction.

I appreciate B for hanging in there with me. It has been a mutually beneficial path of discovery. Lately, we’ve had a series of lessons where we’ve been discussing practice strategies to help them systematically work on achieving a faster technique and ways to help them learn new repertoire faster. Thanks to a great conversation on twitter*, my own research and input from wonderful collaborative pianist and practice coach Erica Sipes, here is a strategic stepwise plan that I created for B in order to learn a new piece. I wanted to post this online for others that may have trouble seeing the trees for the forest.

What happens when you hit the wall and take longer than everyone else to achieve the same goal? What happens if you cannot use what we typically refer to as chunking (playing groups of notes with pauses in between to allow the brain to process short term information into its long term memory)? Use this practice plan to strategize and increase your chances of success in the practice room if you've tried other ways and they haven't worked so well.

I myself have been inspired to work in this new way especially with music that is out of my comfort zone. Going from larger to smaller details and back again creates a process that encourages confidence in the music.


Start with the big picture:

1) When learning a piece of music, outline the piece to get the big picture before moving on to details. Analyze the piece in order to determine its overall shape, phrase structure, range, key and key changes, and scalar and arpeggiated patterns. If you are able, analyze the piece's chord structure. Listen to the piece at this point to keep the big picture.

2) Play the piece through. Mark places immediately that you know will need attention, but don't get stuck on small mistakes. Stay focused on the big picture in this initial playing.

Begin learning and exploring the finer details of the piece:

3) Learn one musical idea at a time. Too often we get stuck on playing through the material until we feel somewhat comfortable. This way can be time consuming and inefficient. One idea suggested by Erica is to start from the end of the piece and work backwards on one musical idea at a time.

Working within the context of musical ideas versus chunks is one issue that I've encountered in my work with B. Because of the amount of time needed to learn a new piece, a chunk determined by number of notes and not musically becomes ingrained with the break that you take between each chunk. Practicing musical ideas keeps the phrases intact without arbitrary breaks in your final performance.

4) Practice by ear. Work with a recording to learn parts of music that is giving you trouble. I recommend this step especially if you're not a particularly aural person. B is visually dominant, and I suggested this step as a challenge. Practicing this way will help develop your ear and help you tune in to wrong notes and mistakes faster.

5) When you’ve worked through this process, play the piece through to find where you are. Mark any places that are still troublesome and work through the process again until you feel confident of the piece.

Ultimately, I think this process helps those who have trouble processing smaller details. Backwards chunking and practicing by ear for the smaller details help integrate these into the larger picture that you need in order to have a successful performance.

I encourage you to try this for yourself and see what happens. Instead of getting by on innate talent, sometimes a little more focus or discipline is needed in the practice room for the results you want. Stay open to experimenting and adapting the suggested steps in a way that works for you. If you had to adapt any of this to fit your personal needs, I would love to know. Please e-mail me at adelpalazzo (at) gmail.com.

Part Two will be about devising a technique practice strategy. Stay tuned!

*Thank you to my colleagues on twitter for a useful and practical discussion of practice techniques when I asked for advice. Be sure to follow @quartertonality, @TammyEvansYonce, @ericasipes, @AnythingPiano and @hickey_kim!

*Photo credits: Psychologies and Arctangent

Separating from the ego

Ever since Marion Harrington rehashed a recent experience she had with performance anxiety, I’ve been thinking a lot about the ego and its effect in my professional life. I’m finally comprehending that it’s not so much about me eking out a living teaching and performing but about the people I collaborate with. I'm more aware than ever that I can't go it alone.

Twitter has opened a new world for me (ask me why I love twitter!). Without twitter, I wouldn’t have found the support network that I now lean on and has helped me realize what I'm now writing about. People that I met via random twitter conversations have become colleagues whose opinion I respect and who I hope to play music with someday. Honestly, I don’t know that I would be on my current, completely unexpected path of returning to school not for another music degree but one in physical therapy if it hadn’t been for these connections.

I can’t believe that I will get to perform with some of those colleagues this year. In addition to Marion’s Classical Music Connects project, I will be giving two performances in Philadelphia/New Jersey and Southwest Virginia (locations, dates and times TBD). In Virginia, I’ll be collaborating with another CMC musician, Erica Sipes, who wholeheartedly jumped on board when I e-mailed her my outreach idea.

These opportunities wouldn’t be coming about if I were still concerned about my ego. I would have let self-doubt stop me from taking action on anything for fear it wouldn't come to fruition. I'm a procrastinator for multiple reasons, but I procrastinate because of my ego. We spend so much time worrying about what others think of us and how we stand in the competitive pool of talent that we forget what it’s like to be part of a collective that isn’t trying to tear us down (real or imagined).

I would be lying if I said that this realization has made life any easier.

I’m fighting my ego as I begin preparing the program for these upcoming performances. Every time I begin getting too big for my britches or I’m paralyzed by self-doubt, I remind myself that I am part of a collective force. I have a “tribe” that gets me, gets my ideas and is on the same page. They want to change the classical music world just like me.

In the blog I write for my local newspaper, I am constantly returning to community, collaboration and connection as focal points. Those are so important for our local communities and I’m so happy to put these into practice with colleagues scattered all over the globe. With my ego in check, I’m opening myself up to new experiences and expanding my definition of community daily.

Earlier this week, author Patti Digh posted a eloquent Mindful Monday post about letting go and as I work to make my ego secondary to my work. I’ll leave you with her words:

“Clear ground.
Let it go.
Feel your heart and spirit soar.”

Avoidance and what to do about it

The past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that I’ve been avoiding several daily items. Catching up on paperwork, practicing any more than bare minimum and running all come to mind. I find myself doing other things (like Christmas shopping...) when I really should be prioritizing and getting work done.

Other than the obvious chore that paperwork is, practicing and exercise are my stability points. No matter what else happens in my life, I know I can always count on music and fitness to keep me sane.

Avoiding the paperwork made me realize why I’ve been avoiding the other two: overwhelming inconsistency. With the best of intentions, my plans have overwhelmed me. So I need to start somewhere to get back on track.

I’ll start today by simply working. Take a half hour to work on paperwork, break my practice down to focus on a short term goal and just get my workout done. I feel like life has gotten in the way a lot lately, but really it’s just been me.

For those looking for ways to be more productive and to minimize your chances of going into avoidance mode, visit David Allen’s site. He’s got lots of great tools available on his site to help you keep things in perspective.

If you need help figuring out how to break down your career goals (or music goals) into manageable chunks, check out Astrid Baumgardner’s site and blog. She is an excellent professional coach who has helped artists figure out their path and the steps they need to take to get there.

Get to work!

Hitting the wall

I practiced last night. I had several wonderful moments where I felt like I knew what I was doing.

But my practicing ended on an ugly, frustrated note. I spent most of my time on tone work so I could explore Body Mapping principles, using my ball, using my pneumo pro to incorporate some more work into my playing.

It backfired.

Music is the goal of everything I do. I ended up frustrated with myself because the exploration became a study in concentrating and scanning. Instead of freely playing, I began concerning myself with organizing my movement which is still a concept I'm struggling with. I'm still struggling with finding balance and trying to hold it because I'm scared I'll lose it.

The moments of absolute freedom and musicality make my journey worthwhile and exhilarating. But it's these moments of frustration that bring the fighter out in me. Already, I feel a desire to pull my flute back out and try again. I refuse to give up.

I'll bottle that desire up and try again tomorrow. We all feel like this. It's how we choose to deal with it that matters. Honestly, I sat down, put my face in my hands and cried a little. But I got over it. I'm not performing tomorrow. I'm simply giving myself the time I need to make changes in my playing that will let the music shine through. Explore and challenge yourself to grow.

I simply gave myself permission to fail. I wasn't successful last night but I'm one step closer.

*photo courtesy of daarkeaagejeethai.blogspot.com