Become more present by acknowledging the uncomfortable

Avoiding pain, embarrassment, humiliation. We all do our best to avoid uncomfortable emotions. When we're angry or hurt, we try really hard to get back to a more peaceful state. What would happen if we chose to remain with the painful feelings and acknowledge their presence? What would happen if we realized that we have a say in the matter and that we have an array of possibilities to choose from, rather than the ones that emotion may dictate for us?

Life, with all its twists and turns, can not stay in homeostasis like our biological systems. Life instead seems to have more bad moments than good. Personally, 2012 wasn't a particularly good year but I learned a lot of lessons that I will strive not to forget when the times are good.

What does this have to do with music? The image of the suffering and starving artist is a widespread one in our western culture. We become artists not to make money but to create and move people towards change. Some of the most powerful music has been born from misery.

If you would like to become more present or mindful, accepting rather than fighting what is happening at any given time is a critical skill to develop. The hardest lesson for me in all this has been accepting that while my emotions are real, they do not define me. You can accept difficult situations for what they are, but you can simply notice the emotions they produce. They do not have to control you. Biologically, we feel emotions but research tells us that they take about 90 seconds to pass through the body (if we choose to let them go).

Acknowledge and accept. There are so many ways we can apply this to practice and performance of music.

Here's a way to start in the practice room: when you're having a bad day, it's incredibly difficult to not judge yourself. Any element that isn't going well becomes the focal point of your attention and you gradually pull yourself more and more away from the music itself.

When you notice frustration creeping in, stop and take a moment to notice that frustration and accept it. This doesn't mean that you have to stay with the frustration but instead, you can make a choice about what it is you want to do next. If you choose to stay frustrated, you will choose to remain focused on the element that isn't flowing (such as your tone). Another choice you can make is to step away from the instrument and go do something else for a little while.

Finally, a third choice could be to focus on the wider picture and find something positive in your playing. I can guarantee that you're not going to feel comfortable or even happy about having to play in a frustrated state, but if you choose to not let the frustration control your choices, the negative judgmental voices will dissipate. You may even be able to end the practice session in a productive groove.

Life is all about how we choose to respond to curveballs. Practicing is all about how we choose to respond to our expectations. If we let our emotions control us, choices get made for us. Conscious, mindful decision making can keep us in the game.

Practice Essentials: Easing in after a break

I think the biggest question we all have when returning to the flute after a hiatus is, "What do I do to get started again?" For some, the fact that they aren't able to resume at their previous level is frustrating and overwhelming. Since this was something I had to do a few years ago, I know that there's plenty of good advice out there; however, I've noticed that very few encourage slowly building up the amount of time you practice.

If you are able to maintain a consistent practice routine, keep doing what you're doing! If life gets thrown at you more than you care to admit, then keep reading.

Even a temporary break of a week or two means you need to take it slow getting back into your regular routine. Here are a few of my tried and true tips to get back to practicing:

1) Be gentle. Don't pass judgment as you begin playing your first notes. Simply notice your physical state, your emotions and notice how you sound. Take lots of mini breaks with stretching. Every time you come back to your flute after a break, notice the same things again and if things seem to be flowing more easily. If not, continue this sequence until you find a place that you're happy. 

Being gentle with yourself and reserving your criticism for later will prevent excess tension from creeping in, and you'll be able to find the freedom in your playing that may be missing after a hiatus.

2) Set a time limit on how much you practice in any given day. In other words, don't try to practice for 3 hours when you haven't been playing at all. My goal for the fall is to consistently practice for at least 2 hours a day. Prior to my break, I was practicing my super efficient hour (see my post about that here). When I came back to the flute this week after taking about a 2 week break due to moving, I started with that hour with lots of extra breaks. I'm now up to practicing for 90 minutes, but with the same amount of breaks.

When setting time limits, the breaks give you time to listen to your body. Don't ignore it. I am still actively working away from the flute when I take my breaks. I stretch or I lie in constructive rest. These activities help me reinforce what I'm doing on the flute, and help me find the ease in my playing without gripping or tensing.

3) Choose materials that allow you to explore without pushing you to your limit. My first day back was spent on nothing but tone. I spent a lot of time in Fiona Wilkinson's The Physical Flute while applying it to Tone Development through Interpretation. Part of holistic practice is to cultivate the mind-body-instrument connection so that it's a free flowing cycle that's completely integrated. When this begins to happen in your practice session, amazing things begin to happen and your self and instrument begin to merge into one.

To choose appropriate practice material, ask yourself these questions: what were you working on prior to the break? What was most challenging? Leave that on the shelf for the time being and take a step or two back. Choose one thing to draw your awareness to. This is also a great way to minimize the destructive criticism that can make your practice session less effective.

The bottom line is this - ease in to your practice in order to cultivate the mind-body-instrument connection. Release any blocks in this cycle with gentle, focused and efficient practice. You'll find it doesn't take hours to get back to feeling like your old self again.

The Super Efficient Practice Hour

I feel like I haven't been getting a whole heck of a lot of work done lately. In the midst of a job search for my husband, we are also moving. We don't know where this will take us, but we're forging ahead. Being the administrative whiz of the family, that means I'm doing a lot of the grunt work on the computer. Given we've done this type of thing several times already, roles are established and defined.

Image courtesy of janetlanier.com

With all the stress that looking for a job and moving brings, my constants are running and music. At the present moment, I have about two hours a day to myself. That leaves one hour for running and one for flute. Not wanting to lose the progress made during my week at Summerflute, I have jumped in with my available time. I have no prominent deadlines coming up, so I can simply explore and enjoy.

How much do you think can be done in just an hour a day? In two weeks with a day off here and there due to life, I've managed to learn 80 percent of the 1st movement of the Copland Duo, I'm ready to finish recording the 4th movement of twtrsymphony's Symphony No 2 by Chip Clark, I'm continuing to solidify my interpretation of the Allemande from the Bach Partita and I am rotating through a satisfactory tone and technique practice schedule using Fiona Wilkinson's The Physical Flute, Walfrid Kujala's Vade Mecum and Marcel Moyse's Tone Development through Interpretation.

How do I do it? I've returned to using the Pomodoro Technique for my sessions and using the Focus Booster desktop app to keep track of time. In short, this technique breaks a half hour into 25 minutes spent working on a task with a 5 minute break. I have been using Session 1 for tone and tech and Session 2 for repertoire. My 5 minute breaks are used for constructive rest.

What I have noticed over these past two weeks has been that the focus I devote to this one hour carries itself through the rest of my day. For one, it's hard to work from home which I have been doing since February. All the distractions are sometimes too tempting, but adding a dose of super focus to my day helps me stay on task for the rest of my to do list, especially those I would rather not do.

When I get my super efficient practice hour done, I feel at peace with myself. I know I've broken my work down into manageable tasks, and I accept that the work I've done is worthwhile. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I am able to accept who I am as a musician, and find a path that suits me (see my Manifesto for more details about this). My practice goal at this moment in time is to give myself time to begin integrating the next wave of changes into my musicianship. 

The super efficient practice hour is the gift I can give to myself everyday in order to preserve my sanity. We each have our own problems to contend with. Even if you play for a living, do you approach your instrument with joy and curiosity or with dread? It's times like these that make me grateful that I have music in my life to give me a release valve when I begin to internalize my daily stress too much. These life experiences also deepen my appreciation of music, and the range of human emotions that music can express.

My simply advice is this: take the time you have and accept it no matter how little time you may have available. Choose one goal to work towards, and base your work on that goal. Whether you have an hour or you have more, deliberately ensure everything you do in your time works towards that goal. You'll thank yourself.

Note: The foundation of my practice goes back to what I call, "Holistic Practice." I'll be presenting a workshop on it at the upcoming convention for the National Flute Association on Friday, August 10, 8 AM in Octavius 21-23 at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. The type of focus that we need to achieve real results in the practice room applies so well to the rest of our lives, that "holistic" really describes a way of practicing for our whole selves that we can carry through our day. If you're interested in approaching your practicing in a way that maximizes your time and minimizes stress, this is the workshop for you!

Summerflute Thoughts, Part Two

Liisa Ruoho and Me

I arrived at Summerflute on Monday and jumped right in. I had a private Body Mapping lesson with Amy Likar, who is my sponsoring teacher as I undertake the Andover Educator training. Since she is also a certified Alexander Technique teacher, we did some table work. This put me on the path for greater learning for several reasons.

After having only gotten around 3 hours of sleep the night before and since I had just spent the morning travelling to Georgia from Pennsylvania, my playing was quite disembodied which didn't surprise me at all. I was still carrying an incredible amount of tension in my neck from carrying both laptop and duffel bags. I also had an enormous amount of personal stress to contend with as well, which happened to come spilling out during the lesson. This clearing helped me feel less like 2 persons, and more like myself and ready for the week ahead.

The lesson centered around basic Alexander principles with Amy encouraging my tactile awareness as I laid on the table. She encouraged me to accept what I was feeling and thinking, while tying it to my freedom of choice (inhibition). At the end of the lesson, I played the portion of the Allemande of the Bach Partita again and this time, it felt freer and more like myself.

I feel it's worth mentioning here that since seriously undertaking this work in the past year, I have gone through transition periods where I lose my sound and lose how it feels to play. It's an odd (and sometimes tear inducing) feeling that I have to patiently work through. I was very hopeful that the week would help me return to a new and better place.

Later in the evening, I got my first opportunity to perform in the first masterclass with Liisa Ruoho. I eagerly volunteered to play first since I had gotten such little sleep. I played all of the Allemande for her, and what I noticed most was how small I felt in relation to the hall. The Schwob School of Music at Columbus State University has beautiful performance spaces. Legacy Hall was no exception.

In addition to feeling small, I also felt disconnected from those sitting in the hall. Because I have never performed the Bach and I'm still figuring out what I want to do with it musically, my inclusive awareness was narrowed. I missed several notes because each time I wanted to connect with the audience through visual contact, I would lose my place in the music.

Liisa offered suggestions that provided immediate results. She first had me play the first note of the movement, which is an E2 asking me to play in the space around myself with more space in the mouth and thinking of the space in my nasal cavities to increase resonance with less effort. Listening behind me also helped open up my sound, and I produced a more musical and resonant sound that filled the hall.

From here, she asked me to play leaning against the piano as if I were having a beer and talking with a friend. This time, I really played the Bach like I wanted and was quite surprised. Shifting away from "good flute player" stance and into a relaxed position helped me access the music much easier. Since then, I've returned to this position in practice and while I always return to my regular position, I find that it's easier to access what I want. I like to think of it as a modified monkey (please comment if you don't know what monkey is and would like additional explanation).

Liisa encouraged several of us performers through the week to play with the composer as a partner. This mindset makes something as intimidating as the Bach Partita much more enjoyable to play. Although I wasn't looking forward to playing on the first day knowing how tired I would be, the lesson with Amy and performance for Liisa went hand in hand.


No matter what we're dealing with in our lives, professionally or personally, accepting ourselves and the baggage we carry is essential to performing with freedom and joy. At this point, I'm happily and slowly making my way and I'm happy for the downtime I have as I figure the next level out for myself. While performing is incredibly important to me, I feel that I have nothing to prove to anyone. Was the Monday night performance my best ever? Not in any way, but that was the best I could offer at that moment in time and I accept that.


Even though I didn't feel secure in my initial performance of the Bach, Liisa's teaching instantly inspired and motivated me to jump into the practice room to figure out a solution. My mood lifted as my motivation returned and even though I didn't have much time to practice during the week, I was able to explore enough on my own to keep making discoveries through the week.

In my next post, I'll talk about my second masterclass performance and what the fourth movement of the Reinecke Sonata brought to the surface.

The Metronome: to be or not to be?

A simple tweet by Erica Sipes last week, “Something I find myself saying a lot these days: Metronomes are not a substitute for counting out loud. It's that simple.” morphed into a full discussion of how to use the metronome (and how not to use it) that left everyone involved a little smarter and inspired to expand our tweets into a larger commentary.

I thought Erica’s tweet was interesting and responded by asking her about wind and brass players who can’t do this when they’re playing. In my studio, I emphasize the importance of the metronome to my students (especially my younger ones) in order to highlight its purpose as a practice tool in order to help you develop an internal and accurate sense of rhythmic pulse.

I have students that take right to the metronome and those who don’t (and even those who don't take to it still manage to have a decent sense of rhythmic pulse). I had consistent problems with rhythm as a student myself until my 10th grade year of high school. My private teacher made rhythm a math problem, and it all made sense. Students who are strong in math will understand this and will grasp the concept easily, but there are students who will not understand. Describing rhythms and time signatures like a math problem or equation that must be figured out will be as abstract as the abstract music notation system in front of them. So how do we help those students?

When rhythm is a specific issue the student is dealing with, I take away the instrument. Regardless of the issue a student is having with a particular skill or element of a piece, isolating the element and prioritizing and focusing on the issue at hand is essential to mindful practicing in order to fix the problem. For my young students, one of the first ways I teach them to practice is a series of steps for their one line exercises. They first count and clap the passage, then clap alone and then they try the line on their instrument. Another element that I add is to begin having the students extract measures they still have issues with. The more isolated we can make the problem, the easier it will be inserting back into the whole and the student will begin actively listening to themselves and will be able to identify areas that need improvement.

Given that practicing isn’t something that is really taught, it’s my goal as a teacher to change this. I make sure that when I offer suggestions to a student in their lesson that I make clear that I am making helpful practice method suggestions to them. No one is going to learn a piece well by playing it over and over until they have just the notes and rhythms down. What about tempo? What about phrasing? What about the structure? These are all skills students will learn over time if they stay with their instrument, but the metronome gets us back to the foundational building block of rhythm on which these other elements can then be added.

As a teacher, don’t be afraid to not use the metronome. Let the student develop their sense of rhythm naturally and when they’re ready (this was my favorite suggestion from @DLP_DSM (Discover Learn and Play), introduce the metronome back into lessons. If you feel like you can’t do this, read and research (neuroscience research about learning is my favorite reading related to figuring out how to help a student) until you feel you have enough strategies available to be able to help a student develop an internal pulse prior to aligning that natural pulse with a metronome.

Music on the page is a way of organizing various complex elements together in a way that makes sense. The metronome is simply a tool and should not be used as an absolute. Be mindful in your teaching and help your students discover for themselves the power of this tool and how it can help them. Most of all, be patient and give your students the freedom they need to explore and develop into fine musicians.

For those others who were involved in this discussion, please read their pieces below:

Erica Sipes/@ericasipes Bowing to the Mighty Metronome?

Janet Bordeaux/@janetbxyz Metronome: Monster or Friend?

Eugene Cantera/@DLP_DSM #musiced, twitter, and the metronome

Kim Hickey/@hickey_kim Metronome - Friend or Foe?