Enriching your artistry through life experience

Image by Dan Brady

In May, I wrote several blog posts that included my Manifesto, and several more articles about income streams and making your own way as a musician. One idea I wanted to write about never quite made it to the table, so here I am writing about it now. Life experience. I touched briefly on this in this week's earlier post, which got me thinking about it a little more.

When I describe my situation to others, it's humbling to see the scores of others in the position that my husband and I are in. The economy has brought change to lots of people. Some of the change has been positive and at other times negative. My own work has been shaped by a desire to become portable in order to weather the changes that life has brought me at pretty regular intervals of every 2-3 years.

I firmly believe in the new economy, and I believe in the power of individuals to make their own way. With that said, life experience can be a boon to artistic development. If our lives were simple, what depth would our lives have? What depth would our music have? On one hand, I crave simplicity but I know that the painful and uncomfortable times will lead to a greater discovery of who I am and what I'm capable of handling. One could say that I'm in the worst position I've ever been in; however, I also trust that God will never give me more than I can handle.

I'm accepting these changes in the hope that my life will help me develop a deeper appreciation for the music that I'm so passionate about. I am full of gratitude for the music I am able to share with others, gratitude for those who support me and gratitude for even these uncomfortable changes I'm faced with right now. I'm realizing that accepting the painful times enhances artistry in a way that enables the musician to explore the full range of emotions in the music they perform. Love, pain, loss, joy and sorrow. In fact, I have the opportunity to study the human condition from a first hand position.

As I accept my momentary "uncomfortableness," I'm noticing these emotions and what they do. Not only am I opening myself up to possibility, but I am letting my life guide me in my artistic endeavors. Just like the discoveries one makes when studying Body Mapping and realizing that all your "problems" are connected, my life is connected to music. Art is absolutely connected to our lives.

When you enrich your artistry through life experience, you are allowing that experience to connect you personally to your performance. That is one more layer of awareness through which to communicate exactly what you want to your audience. There is music inside every one of us. Allow your life to help transmit it to the world.

Get your copy of The Musician's Personality here!

Extra, extra! Read all about it!

You can get your copy of The Musician's Personality: How Intention and Free Thinking can shape Artistic Freedom here! 

For a sneak peak, here's the book's preface:

From the beginning, The Sensible Flutist has been about my personal journey. When I began the blog in 2010, I was asking a lot of questions and while I thought I had definitive answers, my perspective has evolved as I’ve sought to find my unique voice and path. My ability to flesh out my thoughts on the blog led to the development of a network of likeminded colleagues on Twitter. Two years later, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting several of these influential people who want to make the world a little bit better by breaking down the barriers present in our art.

The basis of this E-book spans a series of posts I wrote for The Sensible Flutist between June 2010 and August 2011. This book seeks to connect the pieces of my progression. It presents these posts as an expanded guide for you, the reader. For the sake of space, I am not republishing these posts verbatim but I am expanding the ideas as a call to action for my readers. These posts relate as much to my own evolution as a musician as they do to encourage those who may find themselves asking the same questions. If you are struggling to find your individual voice, read on to find out how to balance your education with your free-thinking creative self, the musician’s personality.

If you download the book, please let me know what you think and please spread the word!

Many thanks,

The Sensible Flutist

Practice with your head, perform from your heart

While I’m trying to separate from my ego (read my previous post here), I’m beginning to answer some of my own questions about how to practice for performance and artistic success.

There’s lot of great resources about practicing, but you are ultimately responsible for integrating what works for you into your performance.

A simple reminder to ourselves should be, “Practice with your head, perform from your heart.”

When I begin feeling like I’m too much in my head during my practice sessions, I tune in to my heart. This is one of the reasons why I have to practice in a room with a view. It helps me stay connected to the outside world plus the natural beauty keeps me refreshed. There’s nothing like nature to get you out of your head and encourage gratitude for the gift you have to share.

We must practice fine, technical details to access a higher artistic level; however, we must also practice finding our heart if we are to play on stage the way we really want to and as well as we know we can. Because practicing is such a solitary activity, we tend to constantly instruct ourselves rather than staying inclusively aware of the music and the body. Humans are not designed to be solitary creatures. Music is one way of staying connected and our practicing should nurture that.

As you practice today, try tuning in to a deeper source beyond your brain’s mental chatter. Whether you go to a spiritual place or visualize an image that you can use to diminish the chatter, use it often. You’ll find that this type of practicing will connect you more with your audience while performing as well as make practicing itself more enjoyable.

What I learned about audience connection from Gallagher

My husband and I started the weekend by going to see Gallagher, a comedian that was popular back in the 80's. My husband was actually the one who introduced me to his comedy several years ago, and we even bought one of his shows on DVD. When I saw that he was going to be in town, I just had to go.

For two hours, we were entertained by a guy that has some brilliant insights that is encased in non-PC humor; however, I was also taken by how he interacted with his audience before the show.

When we entered the theater, my husband exclaimed, "There he is!" Instead of hanging around backstage, Gallagher was milling around the auditorium engaging with members of the audience. He continued this until about 5 minutes before the show, when he yelled out for someone to come introduce him. At this point, it turned into a comedic bit but I loved how there was no formality but just a simple start to the show that didn't take anything away.

In the show, Gallagher didn't pull any punches. Regardless of whether you find his jokes offensive or an accurate commentary of American culture, Gallagher's ability to stand up and say things that are not necessarily politically correct is rare to find in today's society.

This brings me to why these observations were so exciting for me. We in classical music put ourselves on pedestals which generally makes us miserable. We wonder why our audiences are shrinking, or why we're not getting more work.

Gallagher is a master at audience connection. As classical musicians, we don't have to become comedians to connect with our audiences but we can be out in the audience before the show talking to our audience instead of remaining invisible until it's time to play. By treating the audience as a faceless void, our performance anxiety goes through the roof because we're making our performance the first connection. Even if it's an audience that you don't know (Gallagher didn't know the people he was talking to), you already have something in common - you both love music. It means stepping out of your comfort zone, but your satisfaction level will increase.

Gallagher's creativity and courage to speak his mind is something else we can take. Playing chamber and solo music affords us more opportunity to be creative and explore what the composer intended in his or her music. Lately, I've started reconsidering my path of what I should be doing as a musician. I'm not ready to announce these changes publicly, but it's taking a fair amount of courage to derail from the typical musician track and create my own map. Stand up for the music you believe in, and allow your creativity to shine through. People don't want to hear canned music. They come to hear live performance because there's nothing like it...if you are willing to inject humanity in it instead of a unrealistic perfection.

Go and find a few Gallagher DVDs to watch. Or attend a show. Other comedians may do the same thing, but I have a feeling they don't. This was the first stand-up show I have ever attended, but this guy captivated me within my own context of classical music and how different the show was from the usual concerts I go to. And guess what? This guy filled the theater.

A Flutist's Self-Worth

A thread on the FLUTE list popped up that saddened me. The question of the distinction between amateur and professional players came up, and I read the thread with dismay. The original poster's intent was to ask the valid question why we flutists don't support each other more, but the resulting discussion didn't answer this question.

A certain flutist wrote who said that she is a "nobody in the flute world" because even though she leads a fulfilling musical life, the fact that no one knows her outside her own circle and she doesn't hold an orchestra or teaching position doesn't hold value in her eyes.

An unfortunate stereotype of flutists is that we're all catty, uber competitive, and self-centered. When I meet a new flutist, I always gauge the person to figure out their attitude. By the end of my time with them, I know whether they share the same philosophy of music making I do (if you've read the rest of my blog, you know how I feel about music) or whether they are purely career focused (i.e. constantly focusing on the orchestra audition circuit or teaching positions). When I pick up on the latter attitude, I usually come away a little deflated and questioning my own worth.

Seeking approval from others is a struggle for me. When I was in college, I constantly wanted the approval of my flute teacher. She was hard on me, and it took me years to realize that it was because she wanted the BEST for me. I wasn't in her studio to be told how good I was. I was in her studio to progress and become a better flutist...to better my chances of becoming a successful musician.

So what does "successful" mean? For a lot of flutists, this only means winning an orchestra or teaching job at a major school. Orchestra jobs are diminishing. The Philly Orchestra has declared bankruptcy, the Louisville Orchestra is no longer employing their musicians. Now, more than ever, flutists (and musicians everywhere) must be flexible and open to creating their own opportunities.

Your self-worth as a musician and as an individual should not be tied to what others are doing. We are musicians, with creative impulses and the ability to create opportunities for ourselves. This is what creative entrepreneurship is about. It's about taking control of your life and your destiny. It's about creating opportunities for yourself where none seemingly exist.

Do I struggle with self-doubt? Yes. But I struggle more with self-doubt when I find myself worrying about what others think especially those who have won those types of jobs we dream about in music school. My self-doubt dissipates when I stop worrying, and I start focusing on my own goals again.

If you have an idea for something great, pursue it. Don't let entrenched attitudes stop you. Winning orchestra and teaching jobs is the old way of thinking. Now, more than ever before is the time to seize on opportunities. The power of the internet and social media can take you from obscurity into something more.

Unfortunately, a lot of musicians don't know how to seize on these new opportunities. Instead, I meet a lot of flutists who had big dreams shattered by the harsh reality of the real world. Life often gets in the way of what we would like to have, but it doesn't mean that we should give up just because we can't win an orchestra audition or a teaching job.

Be flexible, adaptable, and true to yourself. Your musical career might take a path you didn't expect, but the path least travelled leads to the most fulfilling work.

Go out and create! Here are a few resources to help you get past self-doubt and start or rejuvenate your career:

Jade Simmons' Emerge Already! Blog

Beyond Talent by Angela Myles Beeching

The Savvy Musician by David Cutler

Personal Music Therapy

For those of you that follow me on twitter and Facebook, you know that my grandmother passed away recently. Even though I had prepared myself for the inevitable, her passing was still painful especially since she was my last living grandparent and she was my favorite.

As I did for both my grandfathers' services, I played my flute. My grandparents were so proud of my accomplishments, and I am so proud of my family's musical heritage.

Because of these past performances, my mother and uncle wanted my brother and I to play what we had already done once before. My grandmother was treated to an encore performance of what my brother and I had played for my paternal grandfather, and what I had played alone for my maternal grandfather. And more so than the times before, playing during my grandmother's funeral service was perhaps the most therapeutic experience I've had in my life.

My brother played on the mandolin that our paternal grandfather (a bluegrass musician himself) left him, handmade in 1997 by a local man. We chose "Amazing Grace," a simple but powerful tune that resonates so well in the hills of Southwest Virginia. Because of our lack of time and the expected yet unexpected timing of my grandmother's passing, we didn't have time to prepare anything else; however, playing with my brother, products of our family's musical influence, I could do nothing else but hug my brother when we finished.

Unlike past services, I had to play again. This time "The Lord's Prayer." I was happy to play unaccompanied because it meant I could let my emotions guide me without straying from the song's intent. Emotionally charged throughout, I was able to stay focused on the task at hand - performing to honor my grandmother's memory.

The climax was the most difficult moment of the song, as I felt a huge swell of emotion within. I was able to finish, and that moment became a lesson in resilience. No matter how low the valley, we all have enough strength to get through the toughest moments. Since I wanted to use my performances to "converse" one last time with my grandmother, I stayed aware of my family to invite them into reflection but I also stayed within myself.

Interestingly, I did not have to cope with any performance anxiety. I want to figure out why this type of emotional performance did not affect me in the same way as my other performances do. Instead, I think I played the most musically I have in quite some time and that gave me peace and helped calm the self-doubt I've been wrestling with recently. It reminded me of all the qualities that my grandmother passed on to me: strength, courage, resilience, compassion.

Moments of grief come and go, but the fact that I was able to perform not once but twice for my Nanny will comfort me for years to come. Being able to play for a relative's funeral is not easy, but the healing benefits are very important in the grieving process.

Shifting the Focus back to Expression and Creativity

I've been having a conversation on Twitter with @MazzaClarinet otherwise known as Marion Harrington, a professional clarinetist and motivational author (http://marionharringtonclarinet.com/). The conversation began as a discussion of the importance of academia on musical interpretation and the positive or negative impact it has on one's natural inclinations and this discussion has transformed into one about the sacrificing of musical expression for technical perfection.

Students that enter college to study music must take an assortment of theory and history lessons in order to develop a framework for them to become better musicians. It's critical to a student's development to have this academic education in order to return to music with a enlightened view of its structure and historical context; however, viewing music in strictly academic terms will render the music void of any expression whatsoever. I discussed this point in an earlier post (http://sensibleflutist.blogspot.com/2010/06/personality-of-musician-deeper-look.html). I would go further than I did in my previous article, and state that having a certain amount of talent paired with a solid musical education will produce a musician with a heightened sensitivity to the music.

From this, the conversation took a turn towards the question of creativity and how so many performances nowadays are technically accurate or "note perfect" but lacking in musical expression. For flutists, the current focus leans toward technical superiority and perfection. My guess is that this focus extends through all woodwinds because of the physically emcompassing requirements of playing a wind instrument. We get so wrapped up in the physical and technical side of playing the instrument that we forget why we committed ourselves to music in the first place. I certainly didn't start playing the flute because I wanted to learn to control my breathing or have fast fingers. I began playing the flute for the expressive powers and potential it holds.

I attended several masterclasses over the summer, and most of the focus was on technical aspects of flute playing. This approach is ingrained in me so much that I find it incredibly difficult to listen to beautiful flute playing without scrutinzing every detail rather than appreciating the beauty; however, by the same token, it's difficult to find recordings that give you a glimpse into the whole package. Encouraging young musicians to attend live performances is one of the most important steps we can take to shift the focus from technical playing to free and creative.

So what other ways can we start changing this focus? We're musicians with a creative urge to find solutions. We are always looking for solutions to improve and do things better. I think that flutists (and any other instrument that falls into this perfection obsessed category) should take the opportunity to listen to vocalists, pianists, and stringed instruments. Attend masterclasses for other instruments than your own - it's eye opening to see how they approach their music. Take the universal musical ideas you learn from them, and apply it within your own playing. Go to solo recitals of other instruments.

Improvisatory exercises are extremely useful when exploring the bounds of your own creative musical expression. When you take away the visual, your heighten your other senses and the music begins to become a natural, non-thinking extension of who you are. I really enjoy attending jazz concerts to see and hear the freedom of these musicians. I strive for the same freedom in my playing. As David Thomas (@DTClarinet) stated on Twitter, playing a piece of music is a "recreative" process, but also takes imagination. I think that pairing the improvisatory freedom of non-thinking with real imagination will increase your control over a piece of music and bring out expressive qualities in your playing that will engage your audience in a real-time narrative.

The beauty of music lies in its ability to engage the entire realm of human emotion, and express happiness, sorrow, anger, tell a narrative or paint a picture. By engaging the self through creative and imaginative self-exploration, we break the mold and become free-thinking, musical individuals.