Enriching your artistry through life experience

Image by Dan Brady

In May, I wrote several blog posts that included my Manifesto, and several more articles about income streams and making your own way as a musician. One idea I wanted to write about never quite made it to the table, so here I am writing about it now. Life experience. I touched briefly on this in this week's earlier post, which got me thinking about it a little more.

When I describe my situation to others, it's humbling to see the scores of others in the position that my husband and I are in. The economy has brought change to lots of people. Some of the change has been positive and at other times negative. My own work has been shaped by a desire to become portable in order to weather the changes that life has brought me at pretty regular intervals of every 2-3 years.

I firmly believe in the new economy, and I believe in the power of individuals to make their own way. With that said, life experience can be a boon to artistic development. If our lives were simple, what depth would our lives have? What depth would our music have? On one hand, I crave simplicity but I know that the painful and uncomfortable times will lead to a greater discovery of who I am and what I'm capable of handling. One could say that I'm in the worst position I've ever been in; however, I also trust that God will never give me more than I can handle.

I'm accepting these changes in the hope that my life will help me develop a deeper appreciation for the music that I'm so passionate about. I am full of gratitude for the music I am able to share with others, gratitude for those who support me and gratitude for even these uncomfortable changes I'm faced with right now. I'm realizing that accepting the painful times enhances artistry in a way that enables the musician to explore the full range of emotions in the music they perform. Love, pain, loss, joy and sorrow. In fact, I have the opportunity to study the human condition from a first hand position.

As I accept my momentary "uncomfortableness," I'm noticing these emotions and what they do. Not only am I opening myself up to possibility, but I am letting my life guide me in my artistic endeavors. Just like the discoveries one makes when studying Body Mapping and realizing that all your "problems" are connected, my life is connected to music. Art is absolutely connected to our lives.

When you enrich your artistry through life experience, you are allowing that experience to connect you personally to your performance. That is one more layer of awareness through which to communicate exactly what you want to your audience. There is music inside every one of us. Allow your life to help transmit it to the world.

When is enough enough?

Graduation Day

I've spent the past three years finding my way. In the five years since college, I spent the first two years as a burned out musician in a full time day job, and the following three as an evolving musical masterpiece. When I started this blog in 2010, I had resumed serious playing and teaching to facilitate a return to school for a master's degree in flute. Boy, have things changed.

I'm still hopelessly addicted to music. I have really made strides in successfully overcoming the psychological and physiological effects of performance anxiety which reared its ugly head as a result of my hiatus. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together more fully for me and in a way that has been making me incredibly happy. I don't want to be known as just a flutist. My life has always indicated otherwise. It was when I stopped pushing forward in what I thought I should be doing was when I realized what I was meant to be doing.

Through this evolution and my incessant curiosity, I find myself questioning academia more and more. I admire and respect all my colleagues who have struck out on their own with only a bachelor's degree in music. While opportunities to perform and teach are limited with just this level of education, the real world experience gained is instrumental in shaping future life decisions. If you choose to stay in school and further your education to include graduate and post-graduate work, you could essentially be living in cloistered academic conditions for a period of upwards of 25 years before you even enter what I consider to be the real world.

When I think about these numbers, I cringe. How many talented musicians stay in school simply because it's what they're told they should be doing? If I had stayed in school to obtain my master's degree, I would have continued on my idealistic, naive path of dreaming of nothing more than playing the flute full time. This would have changed my path dramatically. Chances are I'd have wound up working a miserable day job anyway. The promise of returning to school was what ultimately drew me out of my burned out funk. What if I had already obtained that and then entered the workforce like a dejected nobody?

Perhaps it's the transitional times we live in where I'm growing increasingly distrustful of all large organizations whether it's a corporation or government bureaucracy. Academia is no different. I don't think academic institutions have students' interests at heart. There's too many other competing factors (hello, money!), and this is a reality that many don't think about. I am speaking from a purely institutional perspective. On an individual level, I know many professors who are aware of the realities of the outside world and are honest with their students. We need more faculty members like that.

I wouldn't give up these past 5 years of my life for anything. I've never done things the normal way. While I may have resented it at the time, I'm grateful for it now. When do the hordes of talented musicians making their way through loads of degrees say "enough is enough!" and find the courage to strike out on their own? I want my life to be an example to those who may be questioning their path. Anything is possible.

We are creatives. We have the ability to be free thinkers. If years of schooling is what you feel you need, then that's OK but think about the life waiting for you beyond the academic confines. What possibilities exist for you as you are? The beauty of life is our freedom to choose, even if it's the path less traveled.

Perspective: Abundance or Scarcity?

In my last post, I mentioned that I've been reading Rosamund and Ben Zander's book, The Art of Possibility. One of the first things discussed is the lens that people choose to view the world through.

Viewing life through a lens of scarcity means that nothing is ever good enough. There isn't enough work, too many musicians, your background isn't good enough, etc. This limits the viewer in an incredibly narrow way.

Open yourself up to abundance and (Zander is absolutely right on this) possibility begins to pour in.

I feel like I can be the poster child for scarcity since my life story began through what should be a lens of scarcity. I was born and raised in Southwest VA, culturally rich but not in classical music. Although I had a caring band director for the first three years as a flute student, I didn't necessarily have the opportunities that kids have living in urbanized areas...or did I?

Through this lens of scarcity, I began looking for opportunities. I began traveling 50 minutes one way every week to begin private lessons. I auditioned for the Kingsport Youth Orchestra, didn't get in, but kept trying anyway until I did. I entered local competitions. I went to music camps in the summer. I dreamed about Curtis, Julliard and Eastman. I began exploring the online message boards to learn as much as I could about playing the flute.

Regardless of my background, even though I had a whole realm of scarcity grounded in reality to contend with, I never stopped dreaming or trying.

When you view things through the lens of scarcity, your past hangs over you like a dark cloud. You never can seem to move past all the things that you blame for your lack of success. Self-doubt builds and your professional life continues to suffer.

If I chose to live my life in the realm of scarcity, I would not be doing the things I'm doing today. I wouldn't have the courage or confidence to step out. I only have a Bachelor's degree and it's not even from a major music school! What am I thinking?!

I could give you 50 more reasons why I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I operated this way.

The quote, "Life opens up with you do" could never be more true. Making a living in music gives you the freedom to take risks, explore life and learn things that a desk job will never teach you. We can return to our instrument every day and come away with a new awareness even if it is only just one tiny thing. That beats the daily routine where you're just counting your working hours down until you can go home.

Articulating the differences of the scarcity vs. abundance perspectives are key to letting go of those elements that hold you back. Life isn't fair, but we can make it more fair when we choose to live an abundant life full of possibility.

If there was an ever more important lesson I could teach to my 16 year old self, it would be this.